human beings... what they can do to each other

I'm self-pitying again but i cant help it.

see i've told my cousin that i want to move out. and now that i've did it. she's not happy. she went around telling all my other cousins over here about me etc etc. why do i always meet people like this?

is it like a survival thing? u want everyone to know that u are right or you want people to know your side of the story first.. i've had it! i went through that before. it's not a pleasant memory. it's the worst in my whole entire life. but to me i dont care. if u want others to believe your side of the story there's nothing i can do. i dont want to go to other people to say your bad things. it's not that i've done anything wrong.

I bloody hell respect you and treat u like a family. and in return you treat me this way. i think the way i said things might have hurt you very badly but why the in the name of god do you want to treat me this way. i always feel and think that whatever that has happened will be our own business and not to be told around.

you are twice my age and yet you behave like a teenager. why? why? why?
you said i made you feel like a football. making use of you. me being very selfish. never think about the consequences of what is to happen once i've uttered the word---> i want to move out.
maybe that's true. but i've never had the intention to make you feel like a football, only to use you when it's convenient to do so. i'm sorry if i made you feel that way.

but by not talking to me since i came back from malaysia and not telling me lai soon came and not including me in any activities. at first i was hurt by your actions but then thank god i got a very good friend here. she is and always will be there for me and likewise. i'm really lucky and grateful that she is there for me.

before i moved out u didnt speak to me and on the eve it was a sudden change..why?? why treat me so good. giving me advice and say i could keep the key to your house so that i can collect my mails...is it a way to show people that you've and will always treat me so well but that's all bullshit. i've never in my whole entire life thought you'll stoop so low. do all this kind of things. i'm probably too naive.

why cant life be so much easier. but now i know even if they are called your relative it doesnt necessarily they forgive what you have done. relative does not mean family. family is the closest to you.family is the one that will stand by you no matter what happens and will forgive you even if you have done something wrong. they hold no grudge against you.

MUMMY AND DADDY. I LOVE YOU. i'm sorry for all the hurtful things i've said to you. never meant anything that i've said.

you said you are my family. but what you've done...i've nothing to say for that.

All i can say is that i've just lost a relative and gained a best friend-->my sister.

Esther thank you so much!!you were there when i needed you most. i appreciate our friendship very much. thank you for talking sense into me.